As a dark cobalt sky unfolds before me
spotless. I’m left alone, ‘lest for the chill frosts
slender fingers bring, offering false solace.
Under this late October sky, I
know I’m being watched as towering ink-dipped spruces
dance across my wristwatch. To quell the growing
discord, gathering shakily within my bones,
I think to myself sternly that
I should hurry back on home.
Walking through this dark cobalt sky, I
feel fear melt into fury. ‘Cuz if it weren’t for all
that cider I drank, then my memory
wouldn’t be so fucking blurry.
Stumbling over my own justifications,
I begin to question why.
Why didn’t I choose a warmer dress?
Or better shoes? Or better yet,
Why did I even choose to come at all?…
Well Mindy said
He was going, and she
had that vintage shawl…
But why did I not trust myself? Why
answer His inconsistent call of lust? What
good did fleeting pleasures ever bring, at least when involving long term things?
I’m usually better at avoiding these damn abettors,
so where did I go wrong?
No use now to wonder what could have been,
or should have been, or what went wrong. What I should
be concerned with is this air
of intimidation so thick
My heart beats on, echoing
through my body and
eventually out of view.
This dark cobalt sky is not something I am
safe with, so next time I’ll take that ride – without any hesitation.
Aviana Irrer is currently a sophomore at MSU in the Residential College of Arts and Humanities. An artist before anything else, she is always looking for new ways to convey what cannot be spoken in order to connect with people. As a fulltime student and part-time Starbucks barista living through several “unprecedented times,” art has allowed her a place where she can vent her “unprecedented whines” so to say in the hopes of showing that no one is ever truly alone